By Victoria Myers
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
For a long time, I struggled to understand that verse. How could someone who is mourning possibly be blessed? Mourning is painful. It is disorienting. It is the language we speak in loss. So why would Jesus call it blessed?
But over time, and especially through my own grief, I began to see this verse in an entirely new light.
The Misconception Many Christians Carry About Grief
Many of us have bought into the subtle belief that Christians aren’t supposed to grieve deeply. That faith should soften the blow of loss to the point that it allows us to move forward quickly, confidently, and without too much visible grief.
Which suggests we are supposed to happily move on with life as if a whole, beautiful, and deeply meaningful person didn’t just get removed from it. That is not only disingenuous, it is also dishonest.
We may feel pressure to say we’re “doing okay” when we aren’t. To smile when our hearts are breaking. To reassure others that our faith is strong, even when our world feels shattered.
But this belief is not biblical.
Christians do grieve.
If we, as believers, are creating an environment where people are not allowed to freely mourn their loved one what does that say about us? What does that say about not only our honesty, but also our empathy?
In fact, Scripture never asks us to deny our grief. Instead, it gives us permission to bring our pain into the light. The Bible tells us to “mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15), not to silence sorrow or pretend it doesn’t exist.
We must remember, grief is not a sign of weak faith. It is evidence of deep love.
Understanding the Difference Between Grief and Mourning
Let’s look at the Scripture again, Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. (Matt 5:4)
To understand why mourning is called blessed, it helps to recognize the difference between grief and mourning.
Grief is the internal response to loss. It is deeply personal. It lives inside the heart and mind, often unseen by others.
Mourning, on the other hand, is grief expressed outwardly.
Mourning is our grief turned outward.
It is what happens when we allow others to see our pain. When we speak about our loss. When we stop pretending we are fine.
When we mourn, we do it with others. And this distinction matters because mourning is how we bring our grief into relationship with God and others, and there God promises comfort.
Why Mourning Leads to Comfort
When Jesus said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted,” (Matt 5:4) He was revealing a profound truth about how healing works.
Comfort is experienced in relationship. While comfort can come in many forms, Scripture reveals a unique comfort that comes through God’s presence and the care of others.
When we mourn openly, we give others the opportunity to come alongside us. We allow them to pray with us, sit with us, and carry part of the burden we were never meant to carry alone.
Scripture reinforces this relational design again and again:
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2)
Two are better than one… If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.(Ecclesiastes 4:9–10)
Here is the key: When we hide our grief, we also unintentionally hide our need for comfort.
But when we mourn honestly, comfort can find us.
Not only through others, but through God Himself.
Scripture tells us that God “binds up the brokenhearted” (Psalm 147:3). But binding requires exposure. Healing begins when we bring our wounds into His presence instead of hiding them behind strength. He can’t heal what we don’t acknowledge.
Why We Often Resist Mourning
If mourning brings comfort, why do we resist it?
There are several reasons; I’ve listed two main ones here.
First, many of us believe the lie that strong Christians shouldn’t struggle. We may fear that visible grief reflects weak faith. But Scripture teaches the opposite:
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. “(2 Corinthians 12:9)
Our weakness is not something God rejects. It is often where His strength becomes most visible.
Second, mourning hurts. Expressing grief requires us to face the reality of our loss. It can feel easier to suppress it, distract ourselves, or pretend we are okay.
But unprocessed grief does not disappear. It remains beneath the surface, often emerging later in deeper and more complicated ways.
Healing begins when grief is acknowledged—not avoided.
What It Looks Like to Mourn in Healthy Ways
Mourning does not require dramatic displays. Often, it begins with simple honesty.
It may look like telling a trusted friend,
“I’m having a hard day today.”
It may look like asking for prayer.
It may look like joining a grief support group where others understand the unique pain of loss.
It may look like writing your thoughts in a journal, speaking to God openly in prayer, or simply allowing yourself to cry without shame.
These expressions of mourning are not signs of weakness. They are signs of courage.
They are steps toward healing.
Mourning Does Not Mean Losing Hope
Scripture tells us that we do not grieve as those who have no hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13). But this does not mean we do not grieve at all.
It means our grief exists alongside our hope, not in place of it.
Hope does not erase our pain. It anchors us through it.
Psalm 126:5 offers this promise:
“Those who sow in tears shall reap with songs of joy.”
When we sow something, we reap a harvest in time. In the case of grief, if we sow tears, we will eventually reap healing and, in turn, joy.
Joy grows from tears that were allowed to fall, not tears that were suppressed.
How Mourning Becomes a Blessing
So how are we blessed when we mourn?
We are blessed because mourning invites comfort.
We are blessed because mourning draws us into a deeper relationship with God and others.
We are blessed because mourning allows honesty—and honesty is where healing begins.
When we allow ourselves to mourn, we stop carrying grief alone.
And somewhere between sorrow and comfort, we begin to experience restoration.
Jesus did not say, “Blessed are those who avoid grief.”
He said, “Blessed are those who mourn.”
Because they will not remain there forever.
They will be comforted.