By Victoria Myers
“If this is what living for God gets me, I don’t want to have anything to do with it! I just can’t reconcile a loving God with this kind of tragedy!”
When I “Hit the Road”
After the loss of our son those were the words that spilled out of my heart. I was confused, devastated, and furious with God. Outwardly I still went to church and did all the “right” things so I wouldn’t upset anyone. But privately? Emotionally? Spiritually?
I was walking away.
I felt betrayed by the God I had served for years. The same God my son boldly witnessed for. God didn’t do what I thought he should have done. My son died in one of the worst ways imaginable, and I couldn’t understand how God could allow that.
So in my heart, I “hit the road.”
It felt like God had left the building anyway. When I tried to pray, no words would come. When I read Scripture, there was no feeling, no revelation. I tried to worship, but I was numb. I needed God more than ever, but it seemed like He was so far away.
Yet, as I walked through my grief, I kept hearing this nagging whisper in my spirit:
“God is the answer.”
“Turn back.”
“Walk towards Me.”
But my questions screamed louder.
My bitterness burned hotter.
And my grief threatened to pull me under.
I went through the motions—church, counseling, prayers (that felt empty) and I would occasionally catch faint glimpses of hope. Faint glimpses of Him.
The Turning Point
In my grief group workbook I had to read scriptures, and it was there God arrested me. It was there His word knocked on the door of my heart. And as I finally limped toward the door and cracked it open—He came in. He dined with me. He broke the bread of His word with me and He revealed Himself to me like never before.
God walked with me in my bitterness and confusion, listening as I poured out my disappointment and pain. After this experience, like Job, I could finally say, “My ears have heard of you but now my eyes have seen you.”
God showed me that He had never left me—and more importantly, He had never left my son. (This involved a long process you can read the full story in my upcoming book, God, You’re Fired)
I came to realize that if any hope remained for me in this life, it was with Him. Not the temporary hope that this world offers, but the only hope that is eternal. Something beyond all this trial, devastation, and pain—something lasting.
As healing began, and I turned back to look over the valley I had been traversing, I finally realized the Holy Spirit was the whisper. He was the one gently nudging me towards the only one who could hold together my shattered heart. The Holy Spirit had a front row seat to my pain and confusion. He knew if I would just keep walking—even limping towards God, I would survive.
This was my saving grace.
The Real Road to Emmaus: What Scripture Shows Us
Only after traversing my grief journey, did I discover the Bible held a similar story to mine—the Road to Emmaus.
In Luke 24, two disciples were walking away from Jerusalem—away from everything that reminded them of hope, promise, and purpose. Jesus had been crucified and with Him all their expectations of what they believed God should have done.
As they walked confused, grieving, disillusioned—Jesus Himself drew near and walked with them. But Scripture says they didn’t recognize Him even though they were his disciples.
Think about that.
They had walked with Jesus. They had witnessed his miracles. They had heard His teaching. They knew him personally. And still in their grief…they could not see Him.
Jesus asked them why they were sad, and they poured out their disappointment and their “We were hoping…” came flooding out.
We were hoping the outcome would be different.
We were hoping God would intervene.
We were hoping our life wouldn’t crumble the way it did! (sound familiar?)
Jesus listened to their grief, confusion, and pain and He gently reminded them of the truth they had forgotten.
But it wasn’t until later, after they invited Him in—when He broke the bread with them, that their eyes were opened — and suddenly they realized He had been with them the entire time. Perhaps this is when they finally see Him for who He really is.
Just like these disciples, I didn’t recognize Jesus even though I had previously been His follower. I had shaped God into who I wanted Him to be rather than who He truly is.
But as Randy Alcorn shares, “We must not simply believe in God, but believe what is true about God.”
When the disciples invited Jesus to stay and eat with them, He broke bread with them, and only then were their eyes opened. Bread in Scripture symbolizes so many things: nourishment, relationship, and restoration. Jesus not only fed their weary bodies but their grieving souls.
He still does this today.
It reminds me of Revelation 3:20 where Jesus says, “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come into him and will dine with him, and he with me.”
He constantly knocks. Wanting us to invite Him in, to break bread with Him, and to let His presence and His word nourish our hurting hearts.
Friend, perhaps you are walking your own road of disappointment, confusion, grief and pain. I hope this helps you see how our Savior not only suffered for us but then He comes after us so that He can walk with us through our suffering.
Remember you’re never walking the road alone—even if you think you are. The pain of your grief may be blinding you presently. But our pain and grief does not mean God is gone—no—it’s often the very place he reveals himself most clearly.
Practical Help When You Can’t Feel God
When we feel lost after tragedy, people often say “draw near to God,” but grief can make that feel impossible. Often we are too weak, too confused, too numb to know how. And that’s okay.
God is there even if you can’t sense Him.
Just keep walking toward God. Even if it feels pointless. Even if you feel empty. Seeing God in our trials may require us doing some things we don’t necessarily feel like doing.
- Turn on worship music (even if some of the words hit wrong)
- Keep showing up at church (even if you need to slip in late)
- Continue reading scripture (even if it feels like nothing sticks)
- Pray (even if it feels empty)
These small steps matter more than you think.
Did you catch that key in the Road to Emmaus story? Jesus revealed Himself to them, but it wasn’t until after “they invited Him in.”
Friend, if you’re in trial and grief and can’t sense God’s presence, have you truly invited God in? If you do you might just be surprised at how well you see afterwards.
This story has become one of my favorites because it reveals so many profound truths—most of all that when we “hit the road,” Christ never leaves us, but goes out after us, drawing near, pursuing us, and urging us to invite Him in to dine with Him. Won’t you invite Him in today?
✧ ✧ ✧
If this message resonated with your heart, I share even more of my story—and the hope God met me with—in my upcoming book God, You’re Fired. It’s written for anyone walking through suicide loss, deep grief, or spiritual confusion. If you’d like to follow the journey or be notified when the book releases, you can join my email list or explore more resources on my site. You don’t have to walk this road alone.