By Victoria Myers
We tell ourselves a comforting lie:
“If I don’t talk about suicide, it can’t touch me or my loved ones.”
“If I don’t talk about suicide, it can’t touch me or my loved one.”
We think silence will protect us. But silence doesn’t protect-it isolates.
Someone in the world dies by suicide every 40 seconds—that’s 2,160 people every day. (Source: World Health Organization) So let me say it again, for the people in the back row: the time to speak is now.
Why We Stay Silent
We often avoid conversations about suicide because it feels uncomfortable, too personal, or reminds us of our own fears. We think it only happens to “other families” or that ignoring it will make us immune.
But awkwardness isn’t protection. Avoidance leaves us ignorant. And silence hurts prevention.
God’s word tells us, “There is…a time to speak” (Ecclesiastes 3:7). For our families, our churches, our communities, and ourselves—this is the time!
What the Research Says
Mental health professionals and suicide prevention organizations agree:
- Talking about suicide does not increase risk.
- In fact, open conversations reduce stigma, create safety, and offer hope.
(Sources: American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, CDC )
The following is a personal testimony from a dear friend. His journey through despair and into healing shows the power of speaking up.
a Masked struggle: One Man’s Story
From the outside, my life looked great. I had a beautiful family, a good reputation, by all accounts I looked happy. But under the surface, I was drowning in shame, anxiety, and depression. No matter what I accomplished, it never felt like enough. Each “new thing” I chased — work, status, success, — would quiet the noise in my head for a while, but the emptiness always came back.
Nothing Brought Happiness
In June 2014, I finally bought something I’d dreamed about for years: a Jeep Wrangler. I was sure it would be the thing that finally made me happy.
But within minutes of its delivery, the excitement faded. It was just another thing that didn’t change how I felt inside. It was crushing to find that I felt no happiness.
That night, as my family slept, I sat in the garage, overwhelmed by thoughts of ending my life. Exhausted and hopeless, I got a gun, loaded it, and sat in the driver’s seat, ready to end my pain.
I put the gun to my head and prayed.
Then, in the middle of my despair, I sensed a whisper — not an audible voice, but a clear message:
“Your solution will be her solution.”
“Your solution will be her solution.”
I knew it meant my three-year-old daughter, who already showed some of my same anxieties. If I ended my life, I’d be showing her suicide as an option for hers.
I lowered the gun.
I didn’t tell anyone what happened. I went to bed at 5 a.m., woke up at 9, and ate breakfast with my family as if nothing had changed.
The Turning Point
But six months later, a close friend died by suicide. I had just played golf with him weeks before. He was funny, talented, and had a great family. Why hadn’t he told me he was struggling? And why hadn’t I told him I was struggling? We were both wearing masks.
That was another wake-up call. I finally opened up to my wife. She hid our gun and scheduled me for a counseling appointment. Therapy wasn’t something I wanted, but I knew I needed help.
Healing and Helping
Counseling helped me unpack the lies I believed and to see where Jesus was in each piece of my story. I started risking honesty with a few close friends.
I learned that vulnerability wasn’t a weakness—it was a weapon.
I learned that vulnerability wasn’t a weakness—it was a weapon.
Little by little
- with prayer,
- community,
- and truth,
I began to heal. And as I healed, I noticed pain in the men around me. I started making time to listen and share my journey, and I saw hope spark in their eyes.
Eventually, I founded Mission 15:4, a nonprofit based on Luke 15:4 —the shepard who leaves the ninety-nine to go after the one. I had been “the one,” and now I’m on a mission to pursue the ones.
My friend’s story serves as a powerful reminder that suicide can be prevented when we dare to reach out for help. When we dare to speak up!
Know the Warnings Signs of Suicide
Silence doesn’t protect us. Awareness does. Let’s create homes, churches, and workplaces where it’s safe to talk about mental health struggles.
Print these warning signs. Put them on your fridge. Your bulletin board. Your office wall. Somewhere visible.
Because this list might help you recognize the signs in someone you love — or even in yourself.
Silent Struggles: warning Signs to Watch For
(From trusted sources like American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, National Institute of Mental Health, and the 988 Lifeline)
- Talking about feeling hopeless, trapped, or like a burden
- Withdrawing from family, friends, or activities
- Sleeping too much or too little
- Mood swings or extreme sadness
- Increased use of alcohol or drugs
- Saying goodbye, giving away belongings
- Talking about wanting to die or kill oneself
- Expressing guilt, shame, or deep emotional pains
- Losing interest in things they used to enjoy
- Acting anxious, agitated, or reckless
Download the “Silent Struggles” Printable (PDF)
Hope is Still Here
Ignorance isn’t bliss-it’s dangerous. Speaking up may feel scary, but it can also be lifesaving.
If you or someone you love is struggling, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
If you know someone struggling but you’re not sure how to start the conversation, this article from Oak Health Foundation shares practical steps for talking to someone who may be struggling with suicidal thoughts.
If this message resonates, stay connected. This is just one of the topics I unpack in my upcoming book — my heart is to help others find truth, healing, and hope.
Hope is still here. Keep going.
Want to read more?
If you haven’t read my first post yet, Can You Be a Believer and Still Grieve Like the World? dives deeper into how faith and grief can coexist – and how God meets us in both.
I so appreciate you talking about suicide and the masks we wear I just pray 🙏 that there would be a way to recognize triggers in others so we could identify their struggles and help them . Both of the members of my family who committed suicide were both happy go lucky people on the surface but we their own family didn’t recognize the masks or the struggles . None of us ever had a clue until they were gone that they had the masks and the struggles .
I worked on a suicide prevention hot line when I was in college, talking about suicide and how you are struggling are key to healing being silent only makes it worse .
One of the best things we can do is talk about our experiences, so those struggling can see they are not alone. In the research for my book, it was crazy to see how often someone trained in the mental health field didn’t see the signs in their loved ones until it was too late. That may be disheartening in a way, but it also helps us see that if our gut tells us something, we need to speak up. We need to ask anyone we are worried about if they are contemplating suicide. If we are concerned about what to say, we can call the 988 hotline for guidance. The 988 hotline is not only for anyone in emotional distress, but also for anyone worried about someone else who might be struggling.