By Victoria Myers
As the holidays draw closer, many of us start thinking about gifts. But when someone you love is struggling with depression, anxiety, or another mental health challenge, gift-giving may require extra thought, gentleness, and care.🤍
I often look back and wish I had understood more about depression when my son was hurting. I wish I could have loved him in the ways his heart 🤍needed. While I can’t go back and change the past, I can use what I’ve learned to help others love well in the present.
Today I want to offer gift ideas that can help you love a hurting heart well—especially through the lens of the Five Love Languages.
Note: I am not a mental health professional. I’m a mom who knows how deeply important it is to love someone well when they’re struggling.
People facing mental health struggles often feel wounded, weary, and disconnected. Love becomes not just a comfort—but sometimes a lifeline.
Before we begin, please remember:
If someone you love is struggling with mental health issues, they should seek professional care.
The gifts in this guide are meant to complement—not replace—therapy, medical support, or crisis intervention.
(This post contains affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. )
Why the Five Love Languages Matter
This guide uses the Five Love Languages because they help us give gifts with intention, gifts that meet someone right where they are. 🤍 The Five Love Languages isn’t just for couples—it’s a helpful framework for friendships, families, and caring relationships of all kinds
Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages Include:
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Quality Time
- Receiving Gifts
- Physical Touch
The love languages help us understand how people best receive love. Or how their hearts best recognize it.
When someone is struggling mentally, they often battle thoughts like:
- “I’m a burden.”
- “No one truly cares about me.”
- “I don’t deserve love.”
Loving them in their primary love language can fight against these lies. It can help you love them in the best ways possible for that individual. It can help restore connection, worth, and even hope to hurting hearts.
Words of Affirmation
People struggling with depression or anxiety often face intense self-doubt, shame, or fear. Life-giving words can combat that in a direct and beautiful way.
Meaningful Ways to Show Love
- A handwritten letter sharing what you appreciate about them
- “Open When…” letters (open when you feel anxious…when you feel alone…). This site shares the concept and gives great ideas: Shari’s Berries
- Create Personalized Scripture & Prayer Cards: God’s word is the most powerful affirmation we can give. You can help your loved one create these. Talk with them about the thoughts they struggle with, then find Scriptures that speak directly against those lies. Write out the verse, add a short prayer, and then encourage them to place the cards where they will see them daily. For example, a simple scripture card with Isaiah 43:1—”I have called you by name; you are mine” —can gently counter the lies many people with depression and anxiety battle daily, such as feeling unwanted, forgotten, or like a burden.
- I Love You Because Frame. This is such a cute idea, it is inexpensive and works beautifully. The background is permanent within the frame and features the prompt: “I Love You Because…” You leave a dry-erase marker right beside the frame, and you can add new ways you love that person every day. I remember I made one for my husband and me, and he even caught on and started adding reasons he loved me. It was fun taking turns doing this. I found a cute version on this site: madewithhappy.com
- Leave them voice memos randomly on their phone, telling them why they matter.
- Reading Scripture to them if they struggle to read on their own
- A framed quote like “You are not alone” ( a unique way to personalize this is by having as many family and friends sign it, along with a few words of love)
A Few Comforting Gift Options:
- A Digital Picture Frame that also shares voice messages. These are really special gifts. (My sister and I actually gifted our father this one, and he loves it.) We can send pictures and messages directly from our phones to the frame.
- Custom Photo Calendars: I love making custom calendars for each year. Amazon has great options.
- Book: Jesus Calling (Sarah Young). This is a beautiful short daily devotional. I love how she writes, as if Jesus is speaking directly to you. I imagine for those hurting hearts, this would bring such comfort.
- Book: Anxious for Nothing (Max Lucado) A comforting guide that helps you replace worry with trust in God’s promises.
Writing Prompt Ideas:
- “You are so special to me because ______________”
- “I’m proud of you because _________________”
- “Thank you for being___________”
- “Your presence matters more than you know.”
“I’m proud to be your _____(mom, sister, cousin, friend etc.) because _________.”
Acts of Service
For someone facing depression or anxiety, even simple tasks can feel overwhelming. Acts of service can lift a burden they cannot carry alone.
Meaningful Ways to Show Love
- Bring groceries or place a grocery delivery order
- Prepare a meal (or freezer meals) or gift them “meal coupons.”
- Clean their kitchen or fold a load of laundry
- Drive them to an appointment
- Run errands they’ve been avoiding
- Help decorate for the holidays
- Offer a weekly “help hour” where you come by and assist
Sometimes the greatest gift is stepping in when they don’t have the strength to ask.
A Few Comforting Gift Options:
These are things YOU (the friend) would help set up, help use, or do for them.
- Reacher Wood Grain Sunrise Alarm Clock: If you haven’t heard of these, they are a great alarm clock that wakes you up gently and gradually with increasing light and soft sounds. The first time I used mine, I actually thought birds were outside singing—there was no jolting alarm, just a peaceful wake-up. It is also a sound machine. This becomes an Act of Service gift when you set it up for your loved one and show them how to use it, helping them build a calmer morning routine.
- Light Therapy Lamp: Light therapy is a common recommendation for those suffering from seasonal affective disorder SAD. Experts recommend lamps that emit around 10,000 lux of UV-filtered bright light for about 30 minutes each morning for best effect. These can be a wonderful Acts of Service gift when set up for a loved one and help them make a routine of using them.
Quality Time
Quality time may be the most impactful love language for those struggling with mental health. Loneliness fuels depression. Presence speaks life.
Meaningful Ways to Show Love
- Plan a cozy movie night with them (you bring the snacks)
- Go on a weekly short walk together (getting outside is good for us all)
- Work on puzzle or quiet activity you can do side by side
- A “coffee date coupon”
- A gentle invitation: “I’d love to pick you up tonight and hang out—no pressure.”
- A board or card game you always play together
- Invite them over for a simple dinner—no expectations
- Share a worship music night or devotional time together
I learned that when depression deepens, isolation becomes dangerous. Offering consistent companionship gives someone an anchor when their world feels fragile.
A Few Comforting Gift Options:
This includes items that you can do together, share, or enjoy side by side.
- Puzzle sets: A puzzle lets you share quiet moments together side by side—perfect for a cozy evening of conversation, hot cocoa, and togetherness.
- Cozy throw blankets or weighted blankets are great. I have a weighted blanket, and it’s surprisingly comforting—the moment you pull one over you, it feels like calm settles in. They use deep pressure stimulation, which gently relaxes the nervous system and helps ease anxiety, tension, and restlessness. I don’t have this exact brand, but I do have a weighted blanket, and it truly does help your whole body feel grounded. It’s a cozy way to spend some Quality Time sitting together during a movie night.
- Share a spa night. We love these reusable face masks. These gel masks can be used cold or warm—a cool compress helps reduce puffiness, soothe headaches, and ease tired eyes, while a warm compress feels like a gentle hug on your face. Get two and use side by side as you watch a movie, chat or just listen to calming relaxing music,
Receiving Gifts
For someone whose primary love language is receiving gifts, this isn’t about materialism—it’s about thoughtfulness and intentionality. A meaningful gift says, “I see you. I care.”
Meaningful Way to Show love with these Gift Options
These gifts can feel like warmth and stability during a mentally heavy season.
- Soft hoodie, pajamas, or fuzzy socks
- Plush robe & slippers: A cozy, absorbent terry cloth robe that actually does what a robe should do — dry you off and keep you warm. This set also includes slippers, making it a thoughtful all-in-one comfort gift. It’s a more affordable option that may not last forever, but for the price, it’s a great value and works especially well for guest rooms or as a simple, comforting gift.
- Pura Smart Fragrance Diffuser: I personally use and love these diffusers. They connect to an app so you can schedule scents for certain times of day, control intensity, and avoid wasting fragrance when you’re not home. You’ll also get notifications when a scent runs low. With a wide variety of high-quality fragrance options, Pura makes it easy to create a calming, comforting atmosphere — especially helpful during stressful or overwhelming seasons.
- Nodpod weighted eye blanket – I haven’t tried these yet, but if they are anything like the weighted blankets, they are likely amazing. On my list.
- The Bob & Brad Eye Mask. I love Bob & Brad, they are physical therapists I actually follow and trust. I was excited to see they made an eye mask that uses gentle heat, vibration, and pressure to soothe the muscles around your eyes and temples. (This is on my wish list!)
Physical Touch
Some people feel most loved through touch; others don’t. Physical touch must always be based on comfort, consent, and relationship. Be mindful and gentle.
Meaningful Ways to Show Love
- Warm hugs (if welcomed)
- Holding hands during prayer
- Warm up a blanket in the dryer and then cover them with it
- Snuggling on the couch while watching a movie
Even small, appropriate forms of touch can help calm the nervous system and create safety.
A Few Comforting Gift Options:
- Massage Gun Again, if you haven’t tried one of these, they are one of the best gifts. Our son bought us one for Christmas, and we voted it the best overall Christmas gift that year.
- Hugimal, when I saw these, I couldn’t help but think of my son, who loved hugs. The idea of a warm, weighted “hug” you can hold and carry feels so sweet and comforting—especially for someone who craves that sense of closeness and grounding.
- Dr. Teal’s Epsom Salt Soaks are one of my favorites —the coconut oil is AMAZING! When someone draws you a warm bath and adds this to the water, it becomes such a tender act of care. And one of the best parts? When you get your skin, it feels soft, moisturized, and completely refreshed.
- Dr. Teal’s also makes sugar scrubs. If you’ve never tried thee, they feel like Heaven. The texture is rich and soothing, and when someone uses the scrub on you, it’s even better—a relaxing, spa-like moment that feels comforting and tender. These are meant to be used in the bath or shower with water, and they leave your skin unbelievably soft.
Additional Resources to Help You Love Well
Not sure what your loved one’s primary love language is? Gary Chapman offers a free online assessment. You can find it here: Official Love Language Quiz
Also, if you’d like to read Gary Chapman’s book, which teaches his concept of the five love languages, you can find it here: The Five Love Languages (He has several different versions of this book, but this is the original.
And I was excited to find this little gem: The Five Love Languages Card Game. I added this to my wishlist. It looks like a fun, creative way to open a conversation and better understand how someone experiences love. (This does look like it’s geared more towards couples.)
A Final Word
There were so many times after losing my son when I wished I could cook him one more meal, wrap him in one more hug, or sit with him on one more quiet night. 🤍🤍🤍
If you love someone who is struggling, please—love them with everything in you.
Your presence, your words, your kindness…
They may matter more than you’ll ever know.
And always remember:
Gifts can be powerful, but they are not a substitute for professional care. If your loved one is struggling, gently encourage them to reach out to a counselor, doctor, or mental health provider—especially if symptoms worsen.
You can be part of their support team. You can be a light in their dark season.
And sometimes, the smallest gift becomes the biggest lifeline.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, call 988 (U.S.) or contact your local emergency services.