Guest Post
Today I’m honored to share a guest post from Kari Bartkus, a writer, spiritual director, and journaling guide who helps people make gentle, honest space for grief and healing. Kari and I have connected in several spaces over the past year, most recently through her Journal Gently podcast, and I’m grateful for the way her words invite honesty without pressure.
In this post, Kari reflects on journaling as a companion through grief, not as a way to rush healing or force anything, but as a way to acknowledge what hurts with compassion. I hope here words meet you right where you are.
By Kari Bartkus
Grief has a way of silencing us.
Sometimes it’s because the pain feels too big for words. Other times it’s because we’ve been handed well-meaning phrases that shut us down before we can speak at all: Be strong. God has a plan. At least…
When you’re grieving, even prayer can feel complicated. You may want to talk to God, but you don’t know where to start—or you’re afraid of what might come out if you do.
This is where journaling can become a gentle companion in grief. Not as a way to “fix” the pain, rush healing, or force meaning too soon—but as a way to make space for what’s already there.
Why Grief Needs Gentleness, Not Pressure
Grief is not linear. It doesn’t move neatly from sadness to acceptance. It ebbs and flows, resurfaces unexpectedly, and often carries layers—loss, anger, confusion, relief, guilt, longing—all at once.
Many people avoid journaling in grief because they’re afraid it will make things worse. What if I open something I can’t close? What if I say the wrong thing? What if God is disappointed in what I write?
But journaling doesn’t have to be intense, emotionally overwhelming, or spiritually performative. In fact, grief often asks for the opposite: slowness, honesty, and permission to tell the truth without editing yourself for God or anyone else.
Gentle journaling creates a container for grief. It gives your emotions somewhere to land instead of swirling endlessly in your head or settling unspoken in your body.
Journaling as Witness, Not Solution
One of the most important shifts when journaling through grief is this: You are not journaling to solve your grief. You are journaling to witness it.
Grief needs to be seen and named before it can soften or change. Writing helps you notice what you’re carrying today—without demanding that tomorrow look different.
In Scripture, we see this modeled in the Psalms again and again. Lament is not rushed. Pain is not cleaned up. Questions are asked without immediate answers.
Journaling in grief can look like:
- Writing exactly what you feel without correcting it
- Naming what you miss, even when it hurts
- Admitting anger, numbness, or confusion
- Writing prayers that feel unfinished or uncertain
God is not intimidated by your honesty. He is already present in it.
When Blank Pages Feel Too Big
For many people, grief makes it hard to know what to write. A blank page can feel overwhelming, especially when emotions are tangled or exhaustion runs deep.
This is where guided journaling can be especially supportive. A gentle prompt offers a starting place—a handrail—so you don’t have to dig for words on your own.
Instead of asking, “How do I fix this?” you might begin with questions like:
- What feels heaviest today?
- What do I wish someone understood about this season?
- Where do I feel tired of being strong?
- What do I need from God right now—if anything?
These kinds of prompts don’t force insight or resolution. They simply help you notice what’s already present and bring it into the light.
Writing With God, Not for God
One common hesitation around journaling in grief—especially for people of faith—is the fear of writing something “wrong.”
We worry about being disrespectful. About saying things that don’t sound faithful enough. About admitting doubts or anger we think we’re supposed to have moved past.
But journaling through grief isn’t about crafting the right prayer. It’s about relationship. You are not writing forGod’s approval. You are writing with God’s presence.
Some days, your journal might look like a prayer. Other days, it might look like frustration, silence, or even scribbles that don’t make sense yet. All of it can be held with compassion.
What Gentle Journaling Can Offer Over Time
Journaling doesn’t take grief away. But over time, many people notice subtle shifts:
- A sense of relief after naming what’s been bottled up
- Greater awareness of emotional patterns or triggers
- Permission to slow down instead of pushing through
- A growing trust that God can meet them right where they are
Healing doesn’t usually arrive in big, dramatic moments. More often, it comes quietly—through being honest, again and again, in small ways.
Journaling becomes a place where grief is allowed to breathe.
A Final Word for the Grieving Heart
If you’re grieving, know this: there is no right timeline. No gold star for doing it “well.” No pressure to move on before you’re ready.
Your grief matters. Your words matter—even the messy, unfinished ones.
Journaling can be a way to say, This mattered. This still matters. And I don’t have to carry it alone.
You can take it one page at a time.
About the Author
Kari Bartkus is a spiritual director, writing guide, and speaker who helps women recognize God’s presence in the midst of pain through journaling and Scripture. With a background in communication, spiritual formation, and leadership, she brings a gentle, grounded approach to healing and listening for God.
Learn more at lovedoesthat.org.